Oh I think you nailed it--it looks really good to me. I'd love to see this in BW as well. I think her expression is compelling and I love the bokeh on that lens! Very nice.
I didnt do a formal photo shoot just shot pictures of the kids in the yard. Her eyes aren't quite in the intersection but I liked it, it is far closer than I normally shoot, I am also not sure if I nailed the focus on her eye.